BORED

I hate being bored, like I am now. It just feels like your wasting away into nothingness. I guess I have no one but myself to blame for my current state. But I just haven't got the means to do anything, no money and no personal space to do anything. This penguin just can not handle being bored. All I have done today is watch a little TV, sat down and now this. That is how I have spent my day off so far. So I am now going to waddle off and do some house work. But heres some advice, don't spend your day off like I have just done, do something.

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS
PENGUIN HIJACKS PLANE
AIRLINER TAKEN OVER EN ROUTE TO AMSTERDAM.

A penguin took control of a passenger flight between London Heathrow and Amsterdam today. The incident occurred on a early flight and the aircraft was half full. The unnamed penguin (pictured) then proceeded to divert the Boeing 737 towards Paris, France. The aircraft then began to run out of fuel and was forced to make a stop at Orly airport in Paris. French authorities were determined to end the hostage situation. After the plane landed the aircraft was surrounded by specialist police and Special Forces. However the penguin escaped before any attempt to seize back control of the plane was launched. The escape route used by the penguin remains a complete mystery to authorities. Unusually we have a picture of the hijacker; it appears the penguin ordered one of the flight crew to take a picture of him at the controls of the plane using a camera that he took with him. The camera was then left behind when the penguin escaped.

It is unknown at this point in time how the penguin gained control of the aircraft but both pilots were treated for neck injuries. One theory suggests that the penguin hid in a storage compartment on the flight deck and once the plane was en route to its destination the penguin emerged and over powered the pilots. In any case an investigation was launch both by police agencies and the airline in how a small penguin was able to take control of an airliner. It is thought that no threat was posed to passengers lives. One passenger recounts that the penguin made "courteous and regular" announcements only indicating that they were "heading south". The authorities believe that the hijacker intended to fly the plane in stages to Antarctica only releasing the captive passengers in South Africa before flying on to the South Pole.

Passengers and crew of the eventful flight are now being interviewed in Paris and investigations are ongoing in London as well. Some British MP's have called for tighter security at penguin enclosures around the country fearing more hijackings. One MP has said "it is clear that penguins pose a clear and serious threat to the United Kingdom and must not underestimated" and "secure detention centres must now be created to house these dangerous lunatics". However this suggestion has caused outrage amongst animal rights groups who say that a whole species can not be discriminated against because of the actions of one individual. But the radical animal rights group Army for Animal Liberation (AAL) has openly declared support for the hijacking penguin and has promised a campaign in support. In any case the British Government are taking the penguin threat seriously and have ordered armed police to guard all penguin enclosures in Britain and have been given the power to shoot dead any penguin who attempts to escape under operation Leopard Seal.

In the mean time an international penguin hunt for the hijacker is underway and airport security has been tightened. The penguin hijacker is still at large and is believed by police to be very dangerous, authorities advise the public not to approach the penguin if sighted but to ring the local police.

Thank you for reading my short story. The picture was taken with the aid of Microsoft Flight Simulator 2004 and PMDG's 737 NG add-on.

IS THIS AUGUST?

They said it was gonna be a hot August... but it seems that they were just talking out their arses. Its just not right that August is more miserable than February or November. Much of my work involves me standing outside at stations around north London. I was hoping after our last bitterly cold winter that the summer would be warm so that I could work without catching pneumonia. But no, we just got a couple of hot weeks at thats it for the summer, straight back into winter. No use complaining I guess just got to accept it. This penguin better put on some weight for the winter now or I might not survive.

BURGERS AND SHOPPING

Burgers
We all know that generally things cost more in the centre of London but this penguin thinks that not only do burgers from the likes of McDonalds or Burger King cost more but that they are actually smaller! It just seems to be an impression I have. Hop along to any burger chain in Waterloo, Oxford Street or Victoria and judge for yourself. Maybe its a global conspiracy or maybe the chains are just saving money for the rent... I don't know but it has to end!

Shopping
This little penguin can not understand the art of shopping, just haven't got the brain for it. All the crowds in shops that are just a bit too hot. And don't even mention all that waiting around. Just the thought of shopping makes this penguins mind spin. But what this penguin understands is that shopping is important to someone close. So this penguin might never like shopping but I will do all that can be done to understand shopping so it can become more bearable. So to start I must repeat to myself 'shopping is not an illness, shopping is not evil, shopping is ok' and I should start to behave when shopping.

WATCH OUT

The Crazed Penguin is loose!!! Watch out!